For some of us, being all tied up and at the mercy of a lover is an irresistible thrill. For others, being the one tying the knots, doing up the buckles, or tightening the clamps is what gets the heart racing. There are also those who like to try a little (or a lot) of both.
Restricting a partner’s movements means they can focus on sensations without being distracted. It also allows him or her to enjoy without having to give pleasure back. Some lovers like to play-struggle against their restraints, which gives an added adrenalin rush.
Restraining your partner makes them more vulnerable. So make sure there’s plenty of trust. Both partners need to have complete faith in each others’ judgement, and be sensitive to each others’ physical and emotional limits.
Bondage can be a fun way to spice up your love life, but there are rules concerning consent, abuse, and physical injury.
- Don’t try this with someone you’ve just met; you don’t know if they are trustworthy
- Never let your lover force you into doing something you’re not comfortable with; a caring partner will understand you have limits
- Talk about what you would like, and not like, to do beforehand; be clear about what you will or will not allow. These limits are sacred and must not be broken during the game.
- Agree on a safe word. Any word will do, such as “enough”. The moment the word is said, activity must stop.
Health & safety
- Never tie something around your lover’s neck unless it’s a specially designed collar as tissue damage, choking, or strangulation is a risk. Gags are also potentially dangerous so be careful.
- Never leave your lover tied up alone. Always check your partner is comfortable, breathing properly, and that nothing is cutting off his or her circulation.
- Don’t try bondage in a remote place in case there’s an accident and the restrained partner has no way of getting help.
- Bondage newbies should avoid complicated equipment designed for experts. Start with the basics.
- Rules of safe sex apply as usual: use condoms, and be aware that drink and drugs can make you underestimate safety risks.
Go on, cuff me!
Now you’ve created a zone of mutual trust and respect, you can indulge in restraining your lover. Many couples first embrace a little bondage by bringing fluffy cufflinks, a blindfold, or a silk scarf into the bedroom. Others have more extreme tastes, with a dungeon in the basement packed with equipment designed to restrain and stimulate. The basic bondage toolbox remains the same, though, no matter where on the spectrum your preferences lie. Here are the tools, tapes and ties you need for a bondage bonanza.
Ropes and tape
Ropes are a primary device for any bondage enthusiast. They are used to tie wrists, ankles or any other part of the body. We recommend investing in ropes specially made for kinky use as they are designed to prevent chaffing and burns. Many tapes are made of cotton, others silk or satin.
Tape is a popular option, too. It’s usually made from PVC, without glue, so it’s non-sticky, only sticking to itself. This means there’s no painful ripping off the skin or sensitive intimate areas when you remove it. It’s also used to bind breasts or penises in power play. It’s stretchy, clingy and strong. No matter how much your submissive struggles, they’ll be held in place. Check out our range of ropes and tapes.
Handcuffs & restraints
Use handcuffs or wrist and ankle restraints to chain your lover to the bed, or manoeuvre them into a position of your choice. There are also restraints designed to go underneath a mattress and keep your partner tied down spread-eagled. Many cuffs come with rings so you can attach extra connectors and clips to hogtie your lover for even more kinky play. Restraints with quick-release Velcro are great for novices, while buckled or lock-and-key cuffs are suited to more experienced, more trusting types.
Position enhancers & spreaders
The missionary position: so passÃ©! There’s gear to keep your lover pinned against the door, bent over double strapped to a metal bar, or swinging from the rafters. Whether you’re into acrobatics or want to experiment with a hard-to-reach position, there’s a wide range of sexual positioning harnesses, spreaders and position enhancers to help you hit the right spots.
Made from strong, supportive materials, these position enhancers offer support to muscles working hard. Sex slings often come with padded neck supports and leg stirrups, while some spreader bars are easily dismantled into pieces, making them discreet to store and easy to carry – handy!
With all of this gear, there’s no reason for missionary. With a little imagination and a role of tape, you can transform the bedroom into a sizzling den of desire. Sometimes a little restraint can go a very long way.