Whether you find yourself 10+ years happily married, holding onto your Holiday season fling, or brushing off your best outfit for your hopeful valentine; let us here at Harmony be your guide to the most romantic time of year!
Pancakes flavoured lube – Do you yearn for the soft touch of a pancake?
Now before we get into the main event I’d like to take a moment of your time to play our respects to the greatest holiday every conceived in the western world: Pancake Day. February 13th ladies and gents and I’ll be making myself a good 4 litres of the ol’ batter and eating nothing but them for the week! I place myself as a traditional consumer myself, nothing but a bit of lemon and sugar on mine. For the more adventurous of you, might I recommend a bottle from our fine selection of JO Flavoured lubricants? Whether it be strawberry, chocolate, or Pineapple, these delightfully tasty lubes are a great condiment to any pancake. If you do however find yourself with a half a bottle left over, along with a few cracked eggs, I’ve heard it told that they make a delicious appetiser to a bit of ~Good Morning~ breakfast on Valentine’s Day.
Anal â€“ Trying anal for the first time on Valentine’s Day? Of course you are…
Next to eggs and rabbits for Easter, Valentine’s Day is so synonymous with anal it’s practically written itself into the Golden Lore. Whether you are a complete beginner, seasoned professional, or it’s your only choice, lube up one of our adorable Metal Buttplugs and surprise your partner with a backdoor passage to your heart. The aforementioned lube is the key to good anal. Silicone of any calibre would be ideal, it’s water resistant, doesn’t fade quickly, and is condom friendly!! (You’re friends have been lying to you, condoms are lubricated with silicone lube, please stop this myth…) If I were to put my money on one that I’ve seen good results from, it would be the BackSlide from ID with an added mild numbing affect that great to break past the initial squeeze.
We Vibe â€“ Get a toy that should last as long as your love!
The 21st century has seen its fair share of innovations, from missions to Mars to Partial colliders in Switzerland, but the most innovate and transformative is the practical super computer in your hands right now. Your smart phone is soon to become your new best friend in the bedroom as well. With the We-Vibe range, you and your partner can experience an addition to your sex life that your grandparent would have never dreamed of. With a simple click of the button, you and your significant other can be connect no matter how far apart you are (we’re talking across the globe!). If you find yourself spending the evening with a glass of red in hand and another facetiming the delightful procurer of a bouquet of roses brought from a land down-under, then rest assured that the two of you are still connected. For something a little more risquÃ© why not try the We Vibe Jive? A handy little egg with a powerful motor inside that’s great for on the go fun, but for you and your partner to get a better kick at the booked table why not try it between courses as you SO controls you across the table. Not sold yet? The life-time warranty should be enough to push you over the edge, in more ways than one!
Penguin â€“ Send a little love her way!
Love is in the air, literally! The Satisfyer Pro Penguin USB Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator is by far my favourite toy for 2017. I cannot stress enough how comfortable and convenient this toy is to use, from the bedroom to bathroom, rechargeable and portable orgasms are just a 10 minutes away. If you’re looking to impress your lover, just buy this. Found yourself on a boring tinder date, and you’re checking your phone in the bathroom to waste some time, try this instead. If you’re buying this for someone however, imagine her face when a Penguin in a bow-tie is joining the bouquet of red roses you brought. I’m melting in my chair as I write this, it’s just too cute for words.
Bondage â€“ Fifty shades Freed, try it at home!
*Quickly checks E. L. James’ net worth* …Damn… *Cough* Ermm Fifty Shades Freed! The Hollywood lacklustre attempt at BDSM for beginners. Say what you like about that woman’s attempt at erotic publishing, she’s defiantly making a dime out of this, and the toys are no different. It’s hard to criticise the branded toys that have come out plastered with the Fifty Shades logo all of them, they are just good. Some notable mentions include the Glass Massage Wand, Metal/glass Buttplugs, and the infamous Metal pleasure balls. For this Valentine’s Day however, I’d look no further than the Fifty Shades Freed Pleasure Overload 10 Days of Play. Boasting a bullet, bed ties, butt plug, and more this handy little kit has everything for you to practise your favourite scenes from the movie. Don’t let the excitement get the better of you though, patience and consent is the sexiest thing in the bedroom. Or the bathroom? Garden? Still a bit cold this time of year I should think. ($95 million! all due credit she’s done well)
Chasity (him) â€“ Keep him on lockdown till the night cometh
â€œGood Morning Sweetie xâ€ *click* A noise that could strike fear into even the bravest man. Potential male horror aside, Chasity play has been one of Harmony’s best sellers over recent years and I’m all for it honestly. Whether you keep it on for a day, week, or longer! For any couple who’s looking for a kinky twist to their Valentine’s Night, just strap him in and rile him up before he gets ready for work. The cages we stock come in all sizes from Small to Large, and don’t worry they all have fail safes… Keep him excited by sending him a slightly racier message here and there, something that would normal cause a sudden camping site but luckily won’t cause a trip to Human Resources. Just be ready once he pulls up the driveway and the door swings open, all you’ll see is the roses thrown towards the kitchen table and remnants of your clothing flung across the banister as he whisks you up the stairs. Remember however whoever has the keys, has the power. I’ll leave you to imagine.
Happy Valentine’s Day Y’all, Mistress M.x